42 Ways to Make People Like and Respect You - The Muse

42 Ways to Make People Like and Respect You - The Muse42 Ways to Make People Like and Respect YouWe all want to be liked, yes. But- perhaps mora importantly in the workplace- we all want to be respected. Respect is so important when it comes to your career development. It comes into play when the higher-ups are considering your ideas, when theyre choosing people to participate in projects, and- yes- when theyre thinking about whos getting promotions or raises.But too often people associate earning respect with, well, elend being very nice. Were here to tell you thats elend often the right approach. Instead, try some of the ways below that you can make sure your colleagues like and respect you. Youll be on your way to being seen as a leader in no time.1. Do Your Job and Do It WellThe most basic way to get respect? Dont spend your time worrying about getting respect, and instead spend that time doing your job really, really well. Get a reputation for being really good at what you do, a nd word will surely get around. As career expert Jennifer Winter explains, Its hard to ignore results, and when youre striving for the respect of your colleagues, one of the best things you can do is show youve got the right stuff.2. Never Be Late or Miss a DeadlineAlong similar lines, get a reputation for being incredibly dependable. That means, any promise you make- be it a date to finish a project, an appointment, or anything else- you keep. 3. Dress Up (the Right Amount)You know the whole dress for the job you want spiel? While, yes, you should dress a little nicer than youre expected to, dont dress up so much that you look out of place or like you dont fit into the culture. So if your company has a casual dress code? Avoid the sweats, but avoid the suit, too.4. Treat Everyone With RespectIn order to get respect, you have to give it- and notlage just to the higher-ups. People will plektrum up if youre nice to the baboes but mean to the receptionist or delivery guy, and think you re a brown-noser rather than a genuinely good person. Aim for the latter. 5. Make Friends With the Right Peoplelandseek out relationships with others in your organization who are well-respected and well-liked. And were not just talking about higher-ups here- think anyone who has a great reputation around the office.6. Be a ConnectorKnow someone at another company who may be able to help with a problem a co-worker is facing, a friend who may be a great sales lead, or anyone else who you think could move the company forward? Introduce them Doing this shows off that you have an impressive network- but also that youre willing to share it in order to help others.7. Invite People AlongIf you got an invite to a snazzy event or are planning on networking after work one day, consider inviting along someone from work who you think might enjoy it. Shell be thrilled you thought of her, and youll get a chance to get to know one of your colleagues a little better.8. Use I LessStudies have shown t hat people tend to use the word I mora frequently when communicating with people they feel are more powerful than them. Want to level the playing field? Monitor your use of I. The people youre speaking with will view you as more powerful without ever knowing why.9. Ask for HelpWhile many people may think asking for help hints that you dont know what youre doing- earning you less respect- it can actually work in your favor in several ways (if done right). First, it shows the person youre asking that you respect his or her opinion. Second, it will show that youre productive enough not to waste tons of time trying to figure it out yourself. Finally, it shows that you care about your work (and your professional growth) enough to admit when you dont know something- and then learn from it. For more on how to do this right, check out Winters advice.10. Take Something Off a Colleagues PlateHave a little extra time? Ask your boss or another colleague if theres anything you can help out with or take over for them. Theyll appreciate the lighter load, and your proactive willingness to help will not go unnoticed. 11. Listen- Really ListenNothing will make people lose respect for you quicker than if they feel like your focus is always somewhere else when theyre talking to you. So next time youre in a conversation, make sure youre really engaged. Adopt open body language, dont let other things distract you, and ask validating or clarifying questions to show youre paying attention. For more on upping your listening skills, check out career coach Lea McLeods advice.12. Ask People How Are You?Being all business all the time wont make you very well liked. So take the time to ask people about their lives as well Youd be amazed how good a simple How are you? can make someone feel.13. Remember Things About PeopleTaking note of small details about people- their spouse and kids names, what theyre doing over the weekend, their hobbies, where theyre planning to vacation, and the like- and then asking them questions about those things or referencing them in conversation can be a surefire way to up your brownie points. It shows that you really listed, took the time to remember, and overall care about them as people. Have a terrible memory? Try Muse COO and productivity expert Alex Cavoulacos trick for remembering anything about anyone.14. Own Up to Your MistakesExplains Winter I know, it sounds a bit counterintuitive, given you want your clients to think youre a genius, but trust me They know nobody is perfect. In fact, your clients will probably get a bit suspicious if you never, ever, make a single mistake. Admitting when you do, however, shows them youre confident (and humble) enough to face the music. In my experience, thats a trait most people respect. (Hint This applies to your boss and co-workers, too)15. ...And Then Explain How Youre Going to Fix ThemThat being said, simply saying you messed up and then not doing anything about it isnt going to garner you m uch respect. Instead, when you fess up, make sure to come with a plan for how youre going to fix things. And if youre not sure what to do? Try to at least come up with a few options and then ask the person youre talking to for his or her thoughts on the best course of action (see point 9).16. Seek Out FeedbackShow that you know youre not perfect and are constantly looking to improve and grow yourself by regularly seeking out feedback from everyone around you. And this isnt just something for your annual performance review Try setting up monthly meetings with your boss, team members, and even direct reports where you can solicit open and honest feedback from them about what you can be doing better.17. Give Feedback, TooIt doesnt hurt to dole out some feedback from time to time, too. Obviously, you dont want to become the office critic, but giving colleagues the occasional dose of constructive criticism shows that youre committed to helping everyone around you grow and be the best pro fessionals they can be. Here are a few tips on how to give this advice without seeming like a jerk.18. Never Say Its Not My JobNotice the trash is overflowing? Take it out. See your colleague struggling to carry all the stuff for the conference booth? Grab a bag. Showing that youre willing to pitch in on small things- even if theyre not part of your job description and may be beneath your capabilities- shows that you dont think too highly of yourself and that youre willing to do whatever it takes to help the company succeed. And thats something that people can respect.19. Anticipate NeedsIve actually already started on that is music to your managers ears, explains Muse career expert Katie Douthwaite, It means that instead of waiting for him or her to ask you to do something, youve already thought of it and taken action. You obviously cant anticipate everything, but thinking of things your boss commonly asks for or that will make his or her life way easier is a good place to start.20 . Do Small Nice Things for PeopleWhether its grabbing an extra coffee on your way to work for your boss (or your intern) or getting some flowers for your colleagues desk when you know shes had a rough day, small gestures like this can speak wonders to your character. 21. Say No More OftenReally While you may think jumping at every opportunity is the way to gain more respect, the opposite is actually more often true- especially when you dont have time to do what youre being asked to do right. When you become known for having the guts to speak your mind, put a stake in the ground for the sake of everyones success and find better ways to navigate the rough waters, youll land as a person people respect, a leader, explain leadership trainers Nancy Vonk and Janet Kestin. So when you dont have time, show that you respect your time and the quality of your work too much to agree. Other people will follow suit. Nervous to say it? Try these strategies for turning people down nicely.22. Have an OpinionAgreeing with everything everybody says wont make people think of you as a leader. Instead, have a well-thought-out opinion on things, and dont be afraid to bring it to the table. Whether its an idea about a new product or service or a thought on how a process can work better, people will appreciate you thinking of ways to help the organization improve.23. Respect Other ViewpointsCaveat Dont dig your heels in the ground too much when it comes to your ideas. Instead, consider other peoples viewpoints, too, and be willing to compromise and work together to reach a solution that works for as many people as possible. 24. Speak UpNothing shows lack of confidence in yourself like mumbling. So speak up PR professional Ashley Colbert explains, To be taken seriously in a meeting, speak clearly, firmly, and loudly enough so that people can hear you. And avoid trailing off at the end of a sentence or using fluffy language like I hope to have this done or I think it will get results.25. Avoid the Gossip MillIf youre known for regularly putting down other people, people will start thinking down on you. So dont waste your time speculating about the lives of others. Instead, spend your time by the water cooler genuinely getting to know your colleagues- youll still be involved in the social side of the office, without tarnishing your reputation.26. Never Waste Anyones TimeGet more respect by showing people you respect their valuable time. What does this mean? Dont ask questions you can answer yourself, dont plan meetings that you dont need, and dont take forever getting back to people. You get the idea. 27. Make Your Meetings WorthwhilePeople are pretty skeptical of meetings, and so will likely think less of you if they think your meetings are a waste of time. Make sure youre following the 21 unwritten rules of meetings to have meetings that people seriously find valuable.28. Figure it Out YourselfInstead of always running to your boss for help when faced with a probl em, do everything you can to figure it out yourself. Even if you ultimately need approval before moving forward with a solution, its better to come to your manager with a plan for him or her to give an OK to than to come asking what should we do?29. Never Say I Dont KnowAt least, not on its own. Simply saying I dont know leaves the person asking you a question at a dead end and doesnt make you seem very willing to help. Instead, offer to help figure it out, get more information, or direct him or her to the right person to help out. See leadership coach Jo Millers suggestions for better responses when youre really not sure.30. Become a Stellar Public SpeakerLearning to speak well will gain you respect in many ways. First, youll have the ability to present more confidently in meetings. Second, youll be comfortable speaking at industry events, giving you credit as a leader in your field. But finally, all this practice and training will give you a more powerful speaking presence even in day-to-day conversations.31. Work on Communicating Both Warmth and AuthorityBody language expert Amy Cuddy explains When we judge others- especially our leaders- we look first at two characteristics how lovable they are (their warmth, communion, or trustworthiness) and how fearsome they are (their strength, agency, or competence). This is a fine line to balance, but Miller has some ideas for how to do it.32. Have Clear Work-Life BoundariesPeople are likely to connect with you more if you understand the importance of not working all the time. So set clear work-life boundaries- and then stick to them Whether its that you never check email on the weekends or you leave work by 6 to eat dinner with your family, if youre upfront about your boundaries, people should respect them- and you.33. Dont Leave Right at 5 PMThat being said, dont jet out of the office every day when the clock strikes five, especially if theres work that really needs to get done. Have boundaries, but show that youre willing to pull extra weight when its really important.34. Learn Your Colleagues Working Preferences- and Follow ThemHave a chat with the people you work most closely with about how they work best, and find ways to help them achieve that. Maybe one prefers conversations to emails and will appreciate you coming over to her desk rather than sending a lengthy message. Maybe another needs quiet working time in the morning and will notice if you stop scheduling meetings during that time. 35. Be a TeacherWhen a teammate or direct report is having trouble or does something wrong, instead of getting angry, get helpful. Walk him or her through how to do it. Youll get better employees, and theyll respect you for helping them grow.36. Be a MentorTake junior employees under your wing- even if they dont report to you- and help advise them on everything from company politics to career growth. Not only will the employees youre advising gain more respect for you, but others will notice the gesture , too. 37. Help Out NewbiesWhen someone new joins the company, make sure to say hello and let him know youre there if he has any questions or needs help- even if hes not in your department. People all over the company will start seeing you as a leader in the company from day one. 38. Champion Your EmployeesHave direct reports youre proud of? Understand their goals- and do whats in your power to help them achieve them Whether thats setting up a meeting with your boss because you know they want to grow at the company or helping them find opportunities to grow important skills, look for ways to help them succeed.39. Manage UpwardBy simply waiting around to be told what to do by your higher-ups, you seem like a follower- not a respectable leader. Instead, learn to tell your boss what you need to get your job done well. Youll improve your performance and command your boss respect. Check out some tips for learning this elusive skill here.40. Dont ComplainAre you tired after a long day, an d still have more to do? Are you sick of one menial task you seem to be stuck with? Never whine about it, at least not in the workplace. Having a positive attitude about your work is critical to making other people think highly of you. And if you really have a problem with something? See if you can come up with a proactive way to solve it.41. Get Out in the WorldPeople will hold you in higher regard if you dont just do your job in a vacuum. So make sure to stay up with the latest and greatest in your industry. Go to events and conferences, and report back on what you learned. Get meetings with experts, and maybe even bring them in to talk to your team. Read relevant articles and share them around to help others.42. Question YourselfGreat leaders are good at self-reflection. Check on yourself regularly with questions like these and always be looking for ways to be better.